May 20 is my wedding anniversary and that always makes me think of prison. Not in a bad way, though. According to the Federal Bureau of Prisons, inmates are allowed three personal items: religious medals, prescription eyeglasses and wedding rings. The first two help you see the light, so they are essential for being saved – if only by “The Midnight Special.” The last one bears examination.
There are several, logical reasons for prohibiting jewelry behind bars: they don’t want convicts indulging their vanity, getting bludgeoned for their baubles or cutting their way out with a diamond ring. Why is a plain wedding band (it must be plain) the exception? Prisons are not pubs, wearing a wedding ring won’t discourage romantic interest. The only thing that might, under the circum- stances, is a homemade knife. In prisons, as elsewhere, wedding rings only matter, but matter deeply, to the people wearing them.
A wedding ring means that you are never alone or forgotten, two feelings that are common while incarcerated. It reminds you that, as in marriage, losing privacy and control over your life can some- times be a good thing. That unlike your debt to society, some debts never have to be repaid. While prison is busy trying to erase your identity, a wedding ring doubles it. What’s more, that frail-looking gold band is your unbreakable link to the outside world. It even allows you to visit that world if only in your heart and mind. As Romeo says, “With love’s light wings did I o’erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot keep love out.”
So, if you ever doubt the value of marriage or fear for it’s future, go to jail. That’s where you'll find its most ringing affirmation.
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