Umbrellas as weapons are no longer limited to Bulgarian spies and razor-edged bowlers threaten bargain-hunting Britons as well as James Bond. Black Friday has come to Blighty.
Black Friday, as Americans know it, is always the day after Thanksgiving, which is always a Thursday, and marks the beginning of the Christmas season. It is celebrated by risking your life for a giant bargain on a giant TV. It is called “Black” because however far in the “red” a retailer may be, the sales on this day always put them in the “black.” As Gabi Thesing reports for Bloomberg News (11/30/13) the British supermarket chain, Asda, introduced the concept at 350 stores around the country on Friday, November 29. “ ‘Shortly after 8 [a.m.] most of the TV’s and tablets were gone,’ said Bryan Roberts, an analyst at Kantar Retail, who witnessed the spectacle at Asda’s store in Wembly. An altercation between two customers over a television ‘gave it an air of American authenticity.’ ” Only an air, however. It isn’t truly American unless a security guard is trampled, pregnant women are kicked to the curb and the crackle of a stun gun rises above the screaming. In all fairness, though, it has taken the U.S. decades to reach this point and arresting a shopper in Bristol for fighting over two televisions is a promising start. Add the woman who broke her arm during a stampede in Belfast and the British can be proud of their first “Black Friday.”
Now, the country where they queue for everything can look forward to one day a year when it’s perfectly acceptable to act like a pack of rabid corgis ravishing the Royal Family. Don’t bother to thank the United States. It’s the least we can do for our closest allies.
