May 22, 2013

HE'S A POOR LUHRMANN WHO HAS LOST HIS WAY. BAZ,BAZ, BAZ.


     Our long national nightmare has opened: The Great Gatsby is finally in theaters. As my first two posts on the subject (3/18/12, 4/10/13) note, I have serious doubts about making a film from F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel. No longer. Having seen director - and screenwriter – Baz Luhrmann’s recent attempt, I can report that better movies have been made from worse books than The Great Gatsby, but I can’t think of a worse movie that was made from a better one.

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, The Great Gatsby, isn’t famous for it’s characters or plot, it’s famous in spite of them. The book’s true distinction lies in its gorgeous written style, tragic sensibility and powerful American themes, which get more powerful with time. How do you get a great movie out of such an unlikely – and unpromising – group of qualities? A lot of people bet a lot of money that Baz Luhrmann knew the answer. A lot of people are wrong.
     Mr. Luhrmann’s biggest problem is that he’s faithful to the book. His version has authentically flat characters and an authentically weak plot. The men: Tom Buchanan (JOEL EDGERTON) Nick Carraway (TOBEY MAGUIRE) and Jay Gatsby (LEO DICAPRIO) are, respectively, a macho jerk, a simpering fool and a mysterious figure who’s less than he appears. The women, embodied by Daisy Buchanan (CAREY MULLIGAN) are rich men’s playthings with the depth, but not the abilities, of polo ponies. (Shooting them in 3-D, by the way, doesn’t make these characters less flat – unless your idea of literature was formed by pop-up books.) The plot is some claptrap about seeking the girl of your dreams in Great Neck with a side trip to Queens. Worst of all, Mr. Luhrmann is faithful to the novel’s written style – as written style. A visual solution being, apparently, out of the question, great gouts of Fitzgerald’s language are embalmed in a nearly constant voiceover and some actually appear as words on a page. If that’s not literal enough, words appear on the screen itself. Hmmm. That leaves tragic sensibility and powerful themes, not exactly pillars of American filmmaking. 

     Spoiler alert: Gatsby dies in the end, but it’s not tragic because, like every character in the film, he’s unsympathetic from beginning to end. No one in the film – or the audience – cares if Jay Gatsby dies except for Nick Carraway, who should know better, and the man who kills Gatsby, George Wilson (JASON CLARKE) who’s so dumb, he can’t know better. 

      Perhaps the easiest problem to fix would, at first glance, seem to be the hardest: dealing with themes. That takes a lot of thinking, right? It can – if you’re into literary interpretation – but it’s not necessary. Baz Luhrmann shows us how to do it without any thinking. The idea that Americans worship success in the form of money is splattered throughout this movie. What screams wealth more than a chrome yellow Duesenberg with a lot of chrome, an enormous mansion (with an unsettling resemblance to Hogwarts) and jazz-fueled parties with a thousand dancing, champagne -swilling guests? The only problem is that, like screaming, this visual assault cannot be sustained. It palls after  (I’ll be generous) five minutes. 

     The other theme, the uniquely American ability to re-invent yourself, should have been even easier to render, but Baz bungles it. Doubly ironic since Fitzgerald hands it to him on silver platter. The novel closes with the revelation that, as a child, James Gatz (the main character’s real name) wrote a poignant list of personal goals inside his copy of “Hopalong Cassidy.” It includes, “Rise from bed 6:00 AM, Study electricity, etc. 7:15 AM - 8:15 AM, Practice elocution, poise and how to attain it 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM” and “GENERAL RESOLVES: Read one self-improving book or magazine per week, Save $5.00 (crossed out) $3.00 per week, Be better to parents.”  Not only does it speak to re-invention and the worship of success, but it finds the child in the man, making him sympathetic. What’s more, it expresses the tragedy that should be at the heart of The Great Gatsby: That Gatz/Gatsby’s life ended when he stopped thinking about the future and started becoming obsessed with the past. Sad enough? Not quite. The book is delivered to Nick Carraway by Gatsby’s father, Henry Gatz, who travels from rural Minnesota to New York for his son’s funeral. None of which is in Luhrman’s film.

     Don’t get me wrong. It may be difficult to assemble a great film out of these elements, but it is far from impossible. If you want a movie about a dazzling, mysterious and somewhat louche glamourpuss, who gives great parties, is observed with fascination by her neighbor, a writer, and has her cover blown when a figure from her past - an aging, rural relative – arrives in New York, I give you Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) directed by Blake Edwards and based on Truman Capote’s novel. Should you prefer an original screenplay with a more noir-ish, almost ghoulish tone, I refer you to Billy Wilder’s Sunset Boulevard (1950). It’s the story of a fabulously wealthy, glamorous and mysterious silent film star, who lives in a huge mansion, is completely obsessed with the past and pays an enormous price for trying to relive it. Not as big a price, however, as the struggling writer who observes her with fascination and winds up floating face down in her pool because she’s shot him in the back. If you haven’t seen this classic movie, don’t worry. The pool scene is exactly the same one Baz Luhrmann uses at the end of The Great Gatsby, right down to seeing DiCaprio’s face and the journalists ringing the pool as we look up from underwater. 

     Not that this movie is irredeemable. There are, in all fairness, some good things about it. I look great in my Gatsby-inspired, pink linen jacket from Brooks Brothers, my wife loves her Gatsby-esque diamond headpiece with detachable brooch from Tiffany and we both enjoyed our visit to the Gatsby Suite at New York’s Plaza Hotel.

May 13, 2013

GOOD NEWS FOR NEUROSURGEONS!

And all New York City hospitals with 
underused emergency rooms. New York City's new rent-a-bike program will not provide helmets! According to their web site and the information posted on each new rental kiosk, we are "encouraged" to buy a helmet before using one of their bicycles. They'll even direct us to the nearest store. 

     That's like buying a seatbelt before hailing a cab or buying an airbag before renting a car.

     Good thinking City Council and corporate sponsor, Citibank. That's really using your head.


May 4, 2013

SANDRA "DENY" O'CONNOR.

     That the U.S. Supreme Court is less than perfect is not news. That its imperfection only goes back twelve years is the scoop that former Justice Sandra Day O'Connor shared with the Chicago Tribune Editorial Board on April 26, 2013. Apparently, it begins with their decision to hear Bush v. Gore.

     According to Andrew Rosenthal in The New York Times (4/29/13) Justice "O'Connor said, "It [The Supreme Court] took the case [Bush v. Gore] and decided it at a time when it was still a big election issue. Maybe the court should have said, 'We're not going to take it goodbye.'" 

     Considering that Albert Gore won the popular vote for President in the 2000 election and George W. Bush was only one vote ahead in the college, I'd say recounting the votes in Florida was a big election issue." Since, by agreeing to hear the case and deciding to stop the recount in Florida, they effectively chose the next President of the United States, maybe they should have said, goodbye.

     But they didn't. "Obviously, the court did reach a decision and thought they had to reach a decision. It turned out the election authorities in Florida hadn't done a real good job there and kind of messed it up. And probably the Supreme Court added to the problem at the end of the day." Overlooking the "aw, shucks" diction (you have to keep things simple for the editorial board of a major urban newspaper) the phrase that screams for attention is, "It turned out." As if, in the fullness of time, certain facts about the Presidential election gradually came to light. Hanging chads, butterfly ballots, yuppie riots and the involvement of Florida's Secretary of State, Katharine Harris, were all known at the time and presented to the Supreme Court with, I'm sure, a good deal of authority by the distinguished attorney, David Boies. That it didn't matter is also well known because five members of the court had already made up their mind. Like the FLorida election authorities and Ms. Harris, they wanted George W. Bush to be President. So, yes, the Supreme Court knew they had a decision to make and they made it (before they were asked!) Yes, the Florida government "hadn't done a real good job there and kind of messed it up. And probably the Supreme Court added to the problem." But, no, no one had to wait until "the end of the day" to find out.

     The result, Justice O'Connor told the board, "stirred up the public" and gave the court a less than perfect reputation." Let's start with the comment about perfection.
By 2001, Justice Clarence Thomas had served for ten years and Justice Antonin Scalia for fifteen. So, the sundae of the court's reputation had lost its cherry a while ago. The last time Justice Thomas spoke was to defame Anita Hill during the approval process for his nomination. Since then, he's been a silent indictment of men, lawyers, justices and any group that, even temporarily, includes him. Justice Scalia is what liberal parents use to scare their children into behaving. "If you aren't good, Justice Scalia will take away your right to have toys." His blunt, aggressive style proves that being street-wise owes more to the street than to wisdom.

     What do you suppose "stirred up the public," Justice O'Connor?  Could it be that five people (the vote was 5-4) subverted the election process and put the candidate of their choice into power. A choice with devastating consequences because, it turned out, George W. Bush was President during 9/11, the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, Hurricane Katrina and the financial crisis. Even more significantly, the Supreme Court put Dick Cheney into power.

     What stirs me up is that because the vote was 5-4, Sandra Day O'Connor cast the deciding vote. Yet, she does not admit her role in the decision, much less recant, regret or apologize. So, why bring up the subject at all?
To sell her memoirs? Between her comments in Chicago and the silent, unsmiling reluctance of her appearance on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, she's not doing herself any favors. Is she trying to get into heaven? You have to confess before you're forgiven and as Andrew Rosenthal says in the Times, Justice O'Connor sets, "some kind of record for detachment and understatement."
If she's trying to blow the whistle without implicating anyone, that's impossible. You can't roll over and play dead. That leaves only one possibility: that Sandra Day O'Connor lives in some spectacular kind of denial as to her own involvement in Bush v. Gore. Can you blame her? 

  


May 1, 2013

DEAR MARTHA STEWART.


     I read in the New York Post (4/30/12) that you are seeking male companionship. I would like to apply for the, uh, position. According to 
the article by Bob Fredericks, you prefer a man who is “young-ish” and “tall-ish. If you mean that in the way that I’m Jewish and you’re Polish, then I can’t help you. If you mean “in the area” of being young and tall then we’re in luck. “Outdoor-ish?” I’ve been going to Tanglewood for years and I always sit on the lawn - even in the rain. Energetic? Extremely, thank you. As for “really smart” all I can say is, “Vivamos atque amemos.”

You describe yourself as being, “Curious, intelligent, entrepreneurial, hardworking, fun and adventurous.” Congratulations, you’ve just met my first six requirements. Add tall, blonde, shiksa, who knows her way around a bain-marie and you’re a perfect ten. 

Success, you allude, may be an issue. The man of your dreams should be successful, but for his sake, not yours. I understand completely. A lot of men might be intimidated by your wealth and fame. Not me. You could be “Martha Stewart” and I wouldn’t care. The more successful, the better. My own degree of success is another matter. Ask if I’m successful and my answer is, “You mean currently?”

     Enough about us, what about our common interests? “Cooking, Dining out?”  Check. “Fishing/Hunting?” Yes to sharing a sleeping bag and making the earth move, yes to cooking Risotto Milanese over a campfire (I’ll bring the saffron) no to anything involving death. “Museums and art?” I have a full set of dogs playing poker - framed.

I couldn’t help noticing that your pets include, “Birds. Cats. Dogs. Horses. Other.” I like all of them. It     is, however, hard to keep horses in a Manhattan apartment. Not that I haven’t tried.

We seem to have a complete meeting of the minds, but what about the rest of our bodies? You told Matt Lauer (On the “Today” show, I don’t want to start any rumors) “I’d like to have breakfast with somebody. I’d like to go to bed with somebody. Sleep with somebody.” I hate to brag but, if this were a questionaire, I could fill that box completely.