Robert “Joe” Halderman (The Freedonia Times, 11/12/09) pleaded guilty to Attempted Grand Larceny in a Manhattan court yesterday. Accompanied by his lawyer, Gerald Shargel, he apologized for trying to extort $2 million from television host, David Letterman, in the guise of selling him a screenplay. He is free on bail until May 4, when he will be sentenced to six months in prison and one hundred hours of community service. He has given up his right to appeal and is forbidden to profit in any way from his crime.
After reading a prepared statement to the press, he joins Mr. Shargel in a limousine. The following conversation takes place during the ride back to Mr. Halderman’s apartment.
JOE: Will you visit me in jail?
GERALD: Why would I do that?
J: No one else will. My family, friends and former colleagues all treat me like poison.
G: One possible disadvantage to going into the extortion business.
J: I thought you liked me?
G: Since we’re not appealing, I’m afraid our association is at an end. Besides, my career depends on not being too closely associated with prison.
J: I thought it depended on keeping people out of prison?
G: I don’t work on contingency. You knew that from the start.
J: What jail will I go to?
G: I don’t know. You’re in the system now. I would, however, advise you to spend the next two months putting your affairs in order.
J: You make it sound like I’m dying.
G: Nothing of the sort. In fact, with any luck, you’ll be out by Christmas.
J: What do you mean luck?
G: Don’t dwell on the details. There is, however, one detail you should not overlook – my fee.
J: Oh. Yeah. Uhh, I forgot –
G: My secretary will send you a bill.
J: I was kind of hoping that, you know, we could –
G: Work out a payment plan? Sure. Is monthly good?
J: What I meant was, could you sort of, you know, reduce it?
G: Not in the plan, Joe.
They arrive at Joe’s apartment building.
G: Here we are. Limo’s on me.
J: Uhh, thanks.
G: Good luck – and don’t try to sell any “screenplays” in prison. Okay?
Seems like only yesterday--actually, it was Oct. 5, 2009--that Attorney Shargel was telling the Today Show that the prosecution's case made no sense, and he was chomping at the bit to cross-examine Letterman. He also once said his client was merely trying to sell a very marketable story to Letterman and to keep it confidential as part of the deal. As does every defense attorney worth his salt, Shargel promised the news media concerning l'affaire Halderman/Letterman that "the truth will come out." Unfortunately, for his client, it did. In the end, Halderman goes to jail and Shargel goes out to lunch, so justice and Shargel are both served.
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