Sun-Sachs Boulevard

Ric Burns, who created the PBS series “The Civil War” along with his brother Ken, is shooting a documentary about the Wall Street firm. Goldman Sachs Group Inc. is paying for the film, has editorial control and is overseeing the project through its marketing department.

Wall Street Journal

7/24/10

EXT HIGHWAY MORNING

A New York City Police car and an ambulance are stuck in traffic, sirens sounding and lights flashing.

RIC BURNS

(Voiceover) Yes, this is the Westside Highway, Manhattan, New York City. It’s about ten o’clock in the morning. That’s the homicide squad, complete with detectives and tourists with cell phones. A murder has been reported in one of those big, modern skyscrapers in Lower Manhattan. You’ll read all about on your iPads, I’m sure, because an old-time bank is involved, one of the biggest. But before you hear it all distorted and blown out of proportion, before Fox News gets their hands on it, maybe you’d like to hear the facts, the whole truth . . .

INT POOL MORNING

RIC BURNS is floating face down in a pool.

BURNS

(VO) If so, you’ve come to the right party ... You see the body of a young man was found floating in the pool of their executive health club. Nobody important, really. Just a filmmaker with a couple of documentaries to his credit. Poor dope, he always wanted a pool. Well, in the end he got himself a pool, only the price turned out to be a little high. Let’s go back a couple of hours.

FLASHBACK

EXT OFFICE BUILDING MORNING

A large, glass-walled office building, glinting in the sun.

BURNS

(VO) My name is Ric Burns. I created the PBS series, “The Civil War” together with my older brother, Ken. Or maybe you saw my documentary series about

New York City? They were both very popular – a long time ago. My current documentary, The History of Lint, has been taking years to make. The dry cleaner sponsoring it backed out. I also made an expensive mistake. Apparently, Linzer tarts aren’t made with lint. So, my whole trip to Austria was a waste. I had to hock my cameras to fly back in either the baggage compartment or first class.I can’t tell anymore.

INT OUTER OFFICE MORNING

RIC BURNS sits patiently in an executive’s outer office.

BURNS

(VO) That’s why I’m here – at Goldman Sachs. I’m going to film a history of them for corporate use. Okay, it’s not as interesting as lint, but it’ll get my cameras out of hock.

A tall, bald man in a black suit and rimless glasses enters.

ASSISTANT

The Chairman will see you now.

INT INNER OFFICE MORNING

LLOYD C. BLANKFEIN sits behind a large desk. The ASSISTANT stands at attention next to him. RIC sits opposite them.

BURNS

(VO) All chief executives decorate their offices the same way. It’s the bland overstatement of someone who can afford the best designers in the world and ignore them. This CEO is younger than I expected and bald. His Italian suit hugs him without irony. He’s looking at me with the squint of man who can read the date on a quarter at fifty paces. The assistant has a resentful look. Like he’s just eaten some bad beluga.

BLANKFEIN

I want you to make a film about the history of our company. It should be dignified, but not boring. Positive, but not a puff piece.

BURNS

I’m very expensive.

BLANKFEIN

I’ll make it worth your while. But I’m warning you, don’t charge me a fancy price because I’m rich.

BURNS

Making it positive could be a challenge.

BLANKFEIN

Why? Because of the government? Those fools, they’ll ruin everything! We had the pockets of the world, their wallets, but that wasn’t enough for Washington. They wanted legality, respectability. So the SEC opened its mouth and out came ethics, morals, principles. In my day, we didn’t have ethics. We had traders!

BURNS

(VO) Something told me to get my money in advance, but something, equally strong, told me to get out of there – fast.

Ric starts to rise.

BLANKFEIN

Where are you going?

BURNS

I, uh, have to get my equipment.

BLANKFEIN

Don’t be silly. You can use this.

Lloyd throws a smart phone on the table.

BURNS

What’s that?

BLANKFEIN

An iPhuc. There are only two in the world. Steve Jobs has the other one.

BURNS

Does it shoot movies?

BLANKFEIN

It pans, tilts, dollies and vorkapichs.

BURNS

Wow.

Lloyd points to the lower left corner.

BLANKFEIN

Just don’t touch it there.

BURNS

Why not?

BLANKFEIN

I had a jelly omelette for breakfast.

BURNS

A jelly omelette? Lloyd Blankfein has gone crazy! The world must know.

Ric rises again. The assistant takes the iPhuc.

BLANKFEIN

Where are you going now?

BURNS

I, uh, have to do some research.

BLANKFEIN

Hank will tell you everything you need to know.

The assistant nods.

BURNS

Great. I’ll make an appointment.

BLANKFEIN

You’ll stay right here. I’m sure you’ll be comfortable. Hank, show him to his room.

Ric and Hank climb a grand staircase.

INT PRIVATE ROOM MORNING

A beautifully furnished bedroom with a dazzling view of downtown Manhattan.

HANK

There’s even a private gym.

HANK opens a door.

INT GYM MORNING

RIC and HANK stand by a full-size pool.

BURNS

That Lloyd Blankfein, he’s quite a character.

HANKS

He’s one of the greatest. But you’re not a banker, you wouldn’t know. Hedge funds hang on his every word. His Facebook page has seventeen thousand friends. Martha Stewart once bribed him with a year’s worth of cupcakes just for one stock tip.

BURNS

How do you know so much?

HANKS

I was once Chairman of Goldman Sachs – before I was –

BURNS

Secretary of the Treasury. You’re Henry Paulson!

HANK

I’m glad to see that I still enjoy a modest degree of reknown.

BURNS

Why this job? Why put up with the humiliation? You can do so much better.

HANK

Beats working for Citigroup.

BURNS

(VO) Paulson is nuts, too. No one will believe me.

Ric turns to leave and, as he does, Hank presses a button on the iPhuc. Two electrodes connected to wires shoot out of the phone and hit Ric in the back, electrocuting him. Ric falls, face first, into the pool. He floats there, not moving. LLOYD enters the gym.

BLANKFEIN

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Burns.

THE END

The Role of Lloyd C. Blankfein Will Be Played By Mel Gibson.

“Goldman Sachs has agreed to pay $550 million to settle federal claims that it misled investors” according to an article in The New York Times (7/15/10) by Sewell Chan and Louise Story. Yet, their stock has gone up, clients haven’t left and their chairman and chief executive, Lloyd C. Blankfein still has his job. Why?

First, let’s dispense with that fine business. Goldman Sachs acts like Murder Inc. (“Goldfellas” TFT 8/6/09) and they get a slap on the wrist. Not even. Though an historic sum by S.E.C. standards, $550 million, as Graham Bowley writes in the same issue, “Represents a mere 15 days of profits, based on Goldman’s 2009 earnings.” That’s not punishment. That’s sending their profits on vacation.

As for the 5% rise in their stock price, who cares? I don’t own Goldman Sachs stock and don’t know anyone who does. Do you? Warren Buffet cares, but I don’t own Berkshire Hathaway stock and don’t know anyone who does. Do you? (“A New Financial Model For Wall Street” TFT 12/12/09)

What concerns me are the clients of Goldman Sachs. How can they trust a company that agrees, under pressure, not to commit intentional fraud in the future. That’s always against the law. You shouldn’t need the U.S. government to, shall we say, remind you. The one “mistake” Goldman “regrets” is that “marketing materials contained incomplete information.” Suppose you're a client and you decide to trust them? How do you know that your “marketing materials” will be “complete?” That your competition isn’t getting the complete ones or, maybe, no one is except Goldman itself. (“Letter To Our Clients From Gold Ransacks” TFT 1/13/10)

The next business to hire Goldman Sachs will be in the same position as the next woman to date Mel Gibson. By now, everyone knows that he’s a colossal jerk and that his attitude towards women falls somewhere between that of the Roman Catholic Church and the Taliban. (Mel, by the way, is a very religious Catholic. Not that there’s a connection. Not that there isn’t.) Yet, you know there will be a next woman, if not many, because, after all, he’s a movie star! He’s rich, famous, talented and, before he started looking like a dingo’s breakfast, incredibly handsome with blue eyes to die for. In his movies, he still is. The fact that if you displease him – in any way – he’ll twist your head off and have sex with your throat doesn’t seem to bother these women.

It’s the same with Goldman. They’re rich, famous, powerful and have, for many years, been the most profitable financial firm in the country. In the pecking order of Wall Street, they’re the big pecker. How do you know they won't break your corporate heart? Oh, that’s right, you’re too smart and tough to be taken in. You wouldn’t invest in anything as risky as subprime mortages. Not you. That’s for fools like Lehman Brothers or Bear Stearns or AIG.

Still want to ride the tiger? Consider the picture of Lloyd Blankfein that accompanies those articles in The New York Times. The one by Chris Kliponis of Bloomberg News. See that gimlet-eyed expression of skepticism? The last time I saw it was in the movie, The Pawnbroker (1965). Rod Steiger, in the title role, was giving that look to the poor African-American woman trying to convince him that her diamond ring was real.

The point, anyway, is not that you can outsmart your banker, but that it shouldn’t be necessary. You shouldn’t have to worry about him betraying you. If you’re a Hollywood starlet, you shouldn’t worry that the handsome Australian you’re dating could turn into a Tasmanian Devil. I’m not pushing for legislation or punitive fines because both can be subverted. Indeed, an entire political party exists for that purpose. Nor do I expect a radical shift in human nature. As a society, though, we should not reward unethical behavior by giving the companies involved our business and, implicitly or explicitly, our respect. And, as a group, financial firms like Goldman Sachs and CEOs like Lloyd Blankfein, should, at the very least, catch up with the rest of the corporate world. The part of it that uses marketing to compete for customers. They know that a reputation, what they call a “brand”, is a very valuable, but very fragile, asset. It must be cultivated diligently and handled carefully. They know it’s a long trip to the throne and a short one to the toilet. And there’s no turning back.