Sun-Sachs Boulevard

Ric Burns, who created the PBS series “The Civil War” along with his brother Ken, is shooting a documentary about the Wall Street firm. Goldman Sachs Group Inc. is paying for the film, has editorial control and is overseeing the project through its marketing department.

Wall Street Journal

7/24/10

EXT HIGHWAY MORNING

A New York City Police car and an ambulance are stuck in traffic, sirens sounding and lights flashing.

RIC BURNS

(Voiceover) Yes, this is the Westside Highway, Manhattan, New York City. It’s about ten o’clock in the morning. That’s the homicide squad, complete with detectives and tourists with cell phones. A murder has been reported in one of those big, modern skyscrapers in Lower Manhattan. You’ll read all about on your iPads, I’m sure, because an old-time bank is involved, one of the biggest. But before you hear it all distorted and blown out of proportion, before Fox News gets their hands on it, maybe you’d like to hear the facts, the whole truth . . .

INT POOL MORNING

RIC BURNS is floating face down in a pool.

BURNS

(VO) If so, you’ve come to the right party ... You see the body of a young man was found floating in the pool of their executive health club. Nobody important, really. Just a filmmaker with a couple of documentaries to his credit. Poor dope, he always wanted a pool. Well, in the end he got himself a pool, only the price turned out to be a little high. Let’s go back a couple of hours.

FLASHBACK

EXT OFFICE BUILDING MORNING

A large, glass-walled office building, glinting in the sun.

BURNS

(VO) My name is Ric Burns. I created the PBS series, “The Civil War” together with my older brother, Ken. Or maybe you saw my documentary series about

New York City? They were both very popular – a long time ago. My current documentary, The History of Lint, has been taking years to make. The dry cleaner sponsoring it backed out. I also made an expensive mistake. Apparently, Linzer tarts aren’t made with lint. So, my whole trip to Austria was a waste. I had to hock my cameras to fly back in either the baggage compartment or first class.I can’t tell anymore.

INT OUTER OFFICE MORNING

RIC BURNS sits patiently in an executive’s outer office.

BURNS

(VO) That’s why I’m here – at Goldman Sachs. I’m going to film a history of them for corporate use. Okay, it’s not as interesting as lint, but it’ll get my cameras out of hock.

A tall, bald man in a black suit and rimless glasses enters.

ASSISTANT

The Chairman will see you now.

INT INNER OFFICE MORNING

LLOYD C. BLANKFEIN sits behind a large desk. The ASSISTANT stands at attention next to him. RIC sits opposite them.

BURNS

(VO) All chief executives decorate their offices the same way. It’s the bland overstatement of someone who can afford the best designers in the world and ignore them. This CEO is younger than I expected and bald. His Italian suit hugs him without irony. He’s looking at me with the squint of man who can read the date on a quarter at fifty paces. The assistant has a resentful look. Like he’s just eaten some bad beluga.

BLANKFEIN

I want you to make a film about the history of our company. It should be dignified, but not boring. Positive, but not a puff piece.

BURNS

I’m very expensive.

BLANKFEIN

I’ll make it worth your while. But I’m warning you, don’t charge me a fancy price because I’m rich.

BURNS

Making it positive could be a challenge.

BLANKFEIN

Why? Because of the government? Those fools, they’ll ruin everything! We had the pockets of the world, their wallets, but that wasn’t enough for Washington. They wanted legality, respectability. So the SEC opened its mouth and out came ethics, morals, principles. In my day, we didn’t have ethics. We had traders!

BURNS

(VO) Something told me to get my money in advance, but something, equally strong, told me to get out of there – fast.

Ric starts to rise.

BLANKFEIN

Where are you going?

BURNS

I, uh, have to get my equipment.

BLANKFEIN

Don’t be silly. You can use this.

Lloyd throws a smart phone on the table.

BURNS

What’s that?

BLANKFEIN

An iPhuc. There are only two in the world. Steve Jobs has the other one.

BURNS

Does it shoot movies?

BLANKFEIN

It pans, tilts, dollies and vorkapichs.

BURNS

Wow.

Lloyd points to the lower left corner.

BLANKFEIN

Just don’t touch it there.

BURNS

Why not?

BLANKFEIN

I had a jelly omelette for breakfast.

BURNS

A jelly omelette? Lloyd Blankfein has gone crazy! The world must know.

Ric rises again. The assistant takes the iPhuc.

BLANKFEIN

Where are you going now?

BURNS

I, uh, have to do some research.

BLANKFEIN

Hank will tell you everything you need to know.

The assistant nods.

BURNS

Great. I’ll make an appointment.

BLANKFEIN

You’ll stay right here. I’m sure you’ll be comfortable. Hank, show him to his room.

Ric and Hank climb a grand staircase.

INT PRIVATE ROOM MORNING

A beautifully furnished bedroom with a dazzling view of downtown Manhattan.

HANK

There’s even a private gym.

HANK opens a door.

INT GYM MORNING

RIC and HANK stand by a full-size pool.

BURNS

That Lloyd Blankfein, he’s quite a character.

HANKS

He’s one of the greatest. But you’re not a banker, you wouldn’t know. Hedge funds hang on his every word. His Facebook page has seventeen thousand friends. Martha Stewart once bribed him with a year’s worth of cupcakes just for one stock tip.

BURNS

How do you know so much?

HANKS

I was once Chairman of Goldman Sachs – before I was –

BURNS

Secretary of the Treasury. You’re Henry Paulson!

HANK

I’m glad to see that I still enjoy a modest degree of reknown.

BURNS

Why this job? Why put up with the humiliation? You can do so much better.

HANK

Beats working for Citigroup.

BURNS

(VO) Paulson is nuts, too. No one will believe me.

Ric turns to leave and, as he does, Hank presses a button on the iPhuc. Two electrodes connected to wires shoot out of the phone and hit Ric in the back, electrocuting him. Ric falls, face first, into the pool. He floats there, not moving. LLOYD enters the gym.

BLANKFEIN

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Burns.

THE END