Feb 17, 2012

His Case Didn't Stand Up In Court.

By the Grace of Mellisa, reporter for the New York Daily News, we get this story straight from Tabloid Heaven. (Names, dates and other boring details have been left out.) A one-legged millionaire was arrested for drunkenly punching a stripper in the face with his gold Rolex watch.The man in question is missing a leg for the same reason that he’s rich: he won a $15 million suit against the Nassau County Police. It seems they ran him over while trying to arrest him for beating his wife. Prior to that, our Boy Scout did time for both stabbing a man in the face and stealing a car, which he then set on fire. All in the past, said his attorney. Since he’s been rich, he’s given money to charity. Specifically, Haitian earthquake relief. The defense attorney also claimed that the women in question was soliciting his client and/or trying to pick his pocket. What’s more, she cheats on her taxes. The Judge said, it doesn’t matter if she pays her taxes or not, you can’t go around punching people and gave Sluggo sixty days. His victim hopes to become a star on reality television.

2 comments:

  1. He didn't have a leg to stand on. He threw a left hooker, but he should have ignored her. In life, you have to learn to roll with the punches, or punch with the Rolexes, whatever the case may be.

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    Replies
    1. I'm going out on a limb and say that I get a kick from your comments.

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