In my mind, I dance like Fred Astaire. The reality is different. Just as, I’m sure, in Mitt Romney’s mind, he’s Calvin Coolidge. Both are worthy goals, but nothing we will achieve in this lifetime. As a politician, the closest Mr. Romney will ever get to resembling a famous person (beside the model on a box of hair color) is Claude Rains in The Invisible Man (1933): an empty suit that walks and talks like a man. True, he doesn’t scare anyone (except Republicans) but if you listen to him (I don’t advise it, but it’s becoming inevitable) what he says amounts to nothing more than the insane cackle made famous by Mr. Rains.
Mitt Romney can’t complain about the Obama administration when he’s spent the last four years earning $86 million - without working. Oh, he can complain, but the eighty six million people who made nothing in those years won’t take him seriously. He can brag about his achievements in finance, they’re real, but, again, if Joe can’t afford a six-pack, it’s not the right strategy. He can boast about being Governor of Massachusetts and making low-cost, high-quality healthcare available to all residents, but not if he wants the Republican Presidential nomination. As for professing his Mormon faith - about which, I’m sure, he’s entirely sincere - I don’t think the nation is ready for it. If the broadway musical, The Book of Mormon, can be compared to a minstrel show, (I haven’t seen it) true acceptance is far off. You can’t even count on the Osmonds anymore. At this point, Donny and Marie are no more than abnormally charming adults.
It doesn’t leave much for a candidate to talk about. Any candidate. That wouldn’t stop Newt Gingrich, of course, but nothing would besides a glue trap. So, if I were Mitt Romney, I’d give up elective politics and aim for something remotely possible (very remote, I hope): Secretary of the Treasury in the next Republican administration. Until then, he should be content with resembling James Garner in the movie, Cash McCall (1960): a handsome, young, business executive, who buys companies and sells them for a profit. I’d take it. After Fred Astaire, it’s my second favorite fantasy.
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