Newt Gingrich Is To Class War As Donald Trump Is To Class.

It’s not impossible for Newt Gingrich to say something intelligent, it’s just unnecessary. So, imagine my surprise when he said something recently that, if not intelligent, was, at least, thought-provoking. Responding to the State of the Union Address, he accused President Obama of advocating class war. I, personally, have always advocated class war (Let’s Kick Some Class, TFT 10/25/11) but, to my knowledge, the President never has. Even if you were only paying half-attention on Tuesday night, there’s no way to construe his remarks otherwise. Yet, Mr. Gingrich did. Why?

There can only be two sides in a war: us and them, right against wrong, good vs. evil. Thus, there can only be two classes in a class war, forcing people to choose one or the other. Which class would Mr. Gingrich choose? He seems to make an upper-class income, but knowing for sure is hard because someone who was thrown out of Congress for eighty-four ethics violations may be tempted to under-report. (The Gingrich That Stalks Christmas, TFT 12/7/11) Bloomberg News claims that “Newt Gingrich made between $1.6 million and $1.8 million in consulting fees (what he calls being a “historian,” what you call being a “lobbyist”) from two contracts with mortgage company, Freddie Mac, according to two people familiar with the arrangement.” Even with expensive habits like cheating on his wives and marrying his mistresses, that would still leave him well-ensconced within the one per cent. The problem is that he faces an opponent for the Republican Presidential nomination, Mitt Romney, who is conspicuously, even defiantly, upper-class. A man so stupendously wealthy that he can afford hundreds of wives. (Although his religion has forbidden it since 1898.) Welcome to the lower class, Newt. But wait, Newt Gingrich hates poor people. Unless their children are earning enough to send the whole family back to the old country, he begrudges them the air they breathe. The only groups he may hate more are women, minorities, gays, liberals, the media and anyone who disagrees with him.

As far as I can tell, the only role for Mr. Gingrich in the coming war between the classes is that of Switzerland. You know, the country that claimed to be neutral while melting Granny’s gold teeth into ingots for their favorite bank customers, the Nazis. But that’s no good, either. How do you explain that to voters, especially in an election year?

Let’s face it, this utterance defies rational analysis and further discussion would only dignify it. Newt Gingrich’s statement on class war would appear to be another half-thought from a half-wit with a loud mouth. Someone like Donald Trump, but without the entertainment value.