Oh, My Akin Head.

      You can be a no-neck, lowbrow, knuckle-dragging Snopes and I don’t care, but don’t leave Texas – or Missouri. Go ahead, marry your cousin, but, please, don’t have children. If you insist on having children then under no circumstances should you ever allow them to hold public office. If you do, then they’ll be like Tom Head of Lubbock, Texas.

      He’s a judge of some sort and as Manny Fernandez reports in The New York Times (8/27/12) he expects civil unrest if President Obama is re-elected. What’s more, Mr. Head thinks the president will send United Nations forces into Lubbock  to stop any uprising. “‘He’s going to try to hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N.’ Mr. Head said [on local television] ‘O.K., what’s going to happen when that happens? I’m thinking worst-case scenario: civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe.And we’re not talking just a few riots here. Were talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy.’ And if the president did send in United Nations troops, Mr. Head continued, “I don’t want ‘em in Lubbock County. O.K. So I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carriers and say, ‘You’re not coming in here.” And the sheriff. I’ve already asked him. I said, “You gonna back me?’ He said, ‘Yeah, I’ll back you.’”

           Don’t trust The New York Times? How about The Lubbock Avalanche-Journal? (Avalanche must mean something else in Texas) “Which wrote in an editorial that Mr. Head ‘Threw civility out the window and went in a bizarre direction that not only embarrassed himself but all county and West Texas residents.’”

         The only thing worse than bringing someone like Tom Head into the world is educating him. Then he becomes Rep. Todd Akin (R) of Missouri. A six-term member of Congress, who claimed, also on local TV, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” That is, it can prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

         As they say down in Texas, “You buy ‘em books and you buy ‘em books and they just chew on the covers.”