Harold F. Shellgame
Managing Director
Head of Inequities Trading
Dear Client,
Happy 2010! We hope your year was as profitable as ours – however unlikely that may seem. After all, we unloaded some real dogs on you. In your defense, they were highly rated by the largest and most prestigious agencies. In our defense, those ratings cost a bundle, forcing us to hedge our bets. You’ve never met divas like these rating agencies. They’re so concerned about their “reputations” that to get a good rating, you practically have to perform sex. True, those investments sank like matzoh balls, but that wasn’t our fault. We profited, of course, but we didn’t cause them to go down. Apparently, the economy has been in poor shape for quite some time. Something to do with the housing market.
Fortunately, there were some really sweet opportunities that made up for all the others. Investments that – despite all the handwringing about mortgages and such – performed outstandingly. I hope our traders shared them with you. They were supposed to.
In closing, Gold Ransacks wishes you a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. Ignore any headlines about the size of my bonus - it’s none of your business, anyway.
Sincerely,
Harold F. Shellgame
when everyone is responsible,
ReplyDeletethere is no one to blame.
Your comment confuses responsibility and blame. Authorities, for instance, are always responsible, but not always to blame. If you think everyone shares the blame, then 99% belongs to people like Mr. Shellgame. If you are trying to attenuate the blame by pointing your finger at the person who voted for the politician who prevented regulation that would keep the banker from acting like a pig, the banker is a still a pig and six degrees of separation won't turn him into bacon (Kevin Bacon, that is.) If you're trying to shift blame entirely onto the victim, shame on you. Otherwise, you have written a dandy couplet and it could serve very well as "The Bureaucrat's Prayer."
ReplyDeleteRewarding bankers with stratospheric year-end bonuses for reckless, self-serving investment practices that helped to tank the nation's economy based on the fear of otherwise being unable to retain these bankers so that they can devise new nefarious investment vehicles for 2010 seems flawed logic at best, and "nucking futz" at worst. Bankers are not grossly overpaid; they're just gross. We've come a long way from the bankers of "It's a Wonderful Life," and it's been all downhill.
ReplyDeleteThe comments are as interesting as the blog.
ReplyDeleteGreat reading.
Thank you, Donna. It's good to be followed.
ReplyDelete