Suddenly, they were everywhere. From the White House to the Capitol Building to every federal building in the District of Columbia. Small, white, paper signs, claiming, “Absolute Proof That ‘Death Panels’ Exist!” Then slightly different signs appeared, with a date. Finally, the same sign with a date and a meeting place. The meeting place, a large public hall, was standing room only. Most of those present were government officials, many of them high-ranking including Senators and Congressmen. Not surprisingly, given the topic, they were almost exclusively Republican. Slowly and quietly, soldiers in flak vests and helmets, carrying assault rifles, appeared at every exit. Then a loud click as the doors were locked. A large screen descended and flickered to life. Robert Gibbs, the White House Press Secretary appeared.
GIBBS
Welcome to “Proof That ‘Death Panels’ Exist.” Thank you for coming. Here’s how it works: if you don’t stop endangering this country by spreading lies about healthcare reform, you will be put to death. If you don’t stop threatening the President’s healthcare reform plan by claiming it proposes “Death Panels,” you will be put to death. If you don’t publicly apologize for spreading these lies, you will be put to death. If you actually believe that the plan advocates “Death Panels,” then you are too stupid to live and will be put to death. Of course, you should vote to pass the President’s heathcare reform plan. If you do, then the country will enjoy high quality, reasonably priced and, most of all, universal healthcare for the first time. If you don’t, you will be put to death. Don’t worry about political fallout, either. Right now, in town halls across the country, the same meeting is being held. At worst, it will result in fewer, but better, supporters for your re-election campaign. Should you choose death, we’re not savages. It won’t be those men with big guns, who are standing behind you. We will use the most modern death penalty technology and the most experienced executioners, both imported from Texas. You have thirty seconds to make your decision, starting now.”
That is how the United States finally got high quality, reasonably priced, universal healthcare.
Gov. Palin, who admonished the news media not to make things up, rails against the death panels, then, when refuted, counsels "civil" opposition to health care reform. It seems too idiotic to be effective, but here go the Democrats doing the bidding of pharmaceutical companies on price-setting and backing off the public option for health care. It's enough to make you sick, provided you have the coverage to get well again.
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