Ed MacMahon is dead at the age of eighty-six. He was the announcer of The Tonight Show and Johnny Carson’s loyal, laughing sidekick for thirty years. When Carson teased him or made him the butt of a joke, he laughed even louder. For years after, he remained in the public eye as pitchmen for the American Family Publishers Sweepstakes.
He is survived by seventeen bartenders, thirty-two ex-wives and the residents of the Sherman Oaks Nursing home who think Johnny Carson is still on TV.
At his memorial service, “Taps” will be played by “Doc” Severinsen, 82, who also thinks Johnny Carson is still on TV.
His estate, estimated to be zero, is being sued - on principle – by the trusts and estate law firm of Gornisht, Bupkis and Ugatz.
MacMahon wished to be cremated, but his alcohol content would turn him into an eternal flame. Instead, he will be turned into “Buffalo wings” and served to bar patrons at The El Segundo Hilton. He would have wanted it that way.
In lieu of flowers, please send celery sticks and blue cheese sauce to Pepe, c/o The El Segundo Hilton.
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